Home - Dits & Bits - Lyrics - Submarine open day

    1 Comment

Submarine open day

Stoker Mates, I've a tale for you,
It happened to me,
And it could happen to you.
It happened to me just this way,
On Submarine open day.

I was out in the Donk Shop for a while,
Answering questions with a smile,
I looked through 77 and there she stood,
With one leg normal,
And one of wood.

She stepped through the door with a 'clunk'
I'm telling you now, it was all to much.
With long blonde hair, and such rare beauty,
I overlooked her disability.

She asked 'are you a Stoker sport?'
I bet you can rev, and I bet you can snort,
I thought old mate, you're quids in here,
I'll show her the works of the turning gear.

I took her 'round the side of port,
And she slipped in oil, just like I thought.
Without hesitation, nor any guilt,
Down with the pants, and right up to the hilt.

Wood chips flew, and hair did fly,
She gave out a moan, and gave out a sigh,
And then she screamed-'you Stoker fiend'
You've snapped my leg off nice 'n clean.

I went down to the Engineers Store,
found some glue, and sent out for some more.
I glued it up so precisely, and smoothed it off
With some fine emery.

I calmed her down, with a white 'n two,
And that's not all, I'm telling you.
When she went to leave, I had to laugh.
One shoe pointed For'ard, and the other one Aft.

Now this girl, is the wife of mine,
With her Starboard leg of the finest pine.
I found the wood on a packing crate,
And it was carved by my 'Chippy' mate.

There is a moral to this ditty,
When you're on a 'jolly' in a foreign city
Go ashore and spend your pay,
And hope you don't score an open day


1 comment

very very funny chicken on a raft by Cyril Tawney by the way.
   Rubberlegs Sun, 17 Mar 2019

This form is for you to comment on, or add additional information to this page. Any questions will be deleted. If you wish to ask a question or otherwise contact the Branch or the Webmaster. Please use the Contact Us page or ask your question on our Facebook Page

Please insert the result of the arithmetical operation from the following image:

Please insert the result of the arithmetical operation from this image. =


Note: All submissions are subject to webmaster approval prior to appearing on the page. As a SPAM prevention measure, any comments containing links to other sites will be automatically discarded

Nobody washes in a SubmarineThe Death of Nelson